Thursday, October 16, 2025

candid Conversations
Anger Unplugged: The Real Reason Voices Rise

YOU KNOW THAT moment when someone’s face turns red, their voice shoots up, and suddenly the air feels heavy? And there it is — anger in full volume.

The Back Story 

People shout when they’re angry not because they want to yell, but because emotions spill faster than they can control them. It’s like the feelings rush out before the words are ready.

  • Sometimes anger speaks louder than the message itself.

Here’s what’s actually going on beneath the noise.

The Body Goes Into “Alert Mode”

Your brain thinks it’s in danger — even when it’s just a disagreement.

Situation: You’re driving, someone cuts you off, and you instantly yell, “Watch where you’re going!”

  • That shout isn’t strategy — it’s a stress response.

Action: Pause. Breathe. Let your body settle before your words step in.

Shouting Feels Like Taking Charge

Anger often hides fear of being ignored.

Situation: You’re explaining your side, and the other person keeps talking over you. Suddenly, you raise your voice: “Can you just listen?!”

  • It feels like power, but it only pushes them further away.

Action: Say calmly, “Please let me finish — I’ll listen to you after.”

Noise Becomes A Substitute For Clarity 

When people can’t find the right words, they turn up the volume.

Situation: During an argument, someone yells, “You never understand me!” — when what they really mean is, “I feel misunderstood.”

  • Different words, completely different outcome.

Action: Slow down. Say what you feel, not just what you want heard.

Calm Feels Powerless (But Isn’t)

Staying calm can feel like you’re losing ground — but it’s actually strength.

Situation: Someone’s shouting, insisting, “I’M NOT UPSET!”
Instead of matching their tone, you quietly say, “Let’s take a moment.”

  • That one calm line can reset the entire conversation.

Action: Keep your tone low and your pace steady.

The Real Power Is in Composure

Anyone can shout. Few can stay centered.

Situation: A coworker snaps at you during a stressful meeting. Instead of firing back, you respond, “I get this is frustrating — let’s figure it out.”

  • You stay calm, and the tension drops instantly.

Action: Focus on solving, not scoring points.

Tips And Techniques 

Anger gets loud because it feels like the only way to be heard. But the real strength is calm confidence — the kind that earns respect, instead of regret.

Centered presence wins every time.

  • Calm words
  • Strong energy
  • Peaceful vibes

Remember: Next time voices rise, choose composure — not volume.

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Vivien Mangalindan
Vivien Mangalindan
Vivien Mangalindan is a dynamic Broadcast Journalist and engaging Global Public Speaker. She empowers individuals and groups with "Conversation Masterclass: Unlock Your Power to Connect" - because real influence begins with real connection.