Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Candid Conversations
Make It Personal: Predictable Answers Don’t Connect 

WE’VE ALL HEARD: Follow your dreams. Never give up. Just be yourself. Sounds nice, right? But it doesn’t stick. Why? Because it sounds like every other talk we’ve heard.

THE BACK STORY

Too many speakers say what sounds right, not what feels real.
Their answers are smooth, but not personal.

  • The result? People hear the words… but they don’t feel anything.

If you want to be remembered, make the story your own.

STORIES OVER SOUNDBITES

Engage to connect.
First, grab their attention. Then go deeper. Be real. Be personal.

  • Don’t drop a quote—tell a story.

Show what you learned the hard way.
That’s what sticks. That’s what people connect to.

THE PROBLEM WITH PREDICTABLE

Lots of speakers mean well. But when asked things like these—they go into safe mode.

  • “What advice would you give young people?”
  • “What’s your secret to success?”

The answers sound polished – but also kind of empty. Nothing personal. Nothing new.

Cliché answers are just background noise.
People might smile and nod, but they’ll forget it right after.

Here’s the truth:

  • People want real stuff.
  • They want to hear the messy parts, the doubts, the little wins that never made it to social media.

That’s when someone in the audience goes, “Hey… me too.”

FROM SPEAKING ‘AT’ TO SPEAKING ‘WITH’

There’s a big difference between talking atpeople and talking with them.

  • Talking at means giving a polished speech with practiced lines.
  • Talking with means showing up as a real person—flaws, awkward stories, weird moments, and all.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be honest.

Say stuff like:

  • “I totally bombed a presentation once. I didn’t read the room.”
  • “I used all the right words in one talk… but no one cared. I realized I wasn’t being myself.”

Suddenly, people lean in. They feel you.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES 

Ditch The Cliché – And Speak With Impact

Here’s how to make your words count:

Pause Before You Answer
Ask: “Is this true for me, or does it just soundgood?”

Share Something New
Even a small, real story beats a big, fancy quote.

Be Honest About What You’re Still Figuring Out
People respect real talk. “I’m still learning this” goes a long way.

Connect First, Then Teach
Let them see you before you give advice.

Bring It All Together 

If someone hands you the mic, don’t just say what sounds safe.
Say something real.

Cliché answers don’t connect
You’re not a poster. You’re a person.

Engage to connect
Tell the story only you can tell.

That’s what people remember.

Remember: Say what’s real – that’s what connects.

#CandidConversations

#ThePhInsider

#VivieneMangalindan


 

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Vivien Mangalindan
Vivien Mangalindan
Vivien Mangalindan is a dynamic Broadcast Journalist and engaging Global Public Speaker. She empowers individuals and groups with "Conversation Masterclass: Unlock Your Power to Connect" - because real influence begins with real connection.